The straw that broke the camels back

This is something that I need to do. I have poor self discipline and a hard time holding onto my motivation. So, hopefully this helps. Let me start by describing myself. I am 23 years old and 5'6". I currently way 172 lbs, and I have already lost 8 lbs. I have been married now for 10 months and am 24 lbs more than I was that day. While I was 148 lbs 10 months ago, if you go back almost two years you would have seen me at 137 lbs. That is my goal weight. I felt good, I felt as though I could wear the clothes I wanted and could go out in a bikini. Right now, I feel huge. My fat pants are getting snug.

Last week my husband and I were discussing my weight gain and he told me (very sensitively) that while he still finds me attractive, it is much harder with my weight gain. This, I can totally understand, but it was still very hard for me to hear. I cant blame him, though. He is a triathlete and ran cross country in college, even out of shape he still runs a 6 minute mile. When we were dating I was an avid backpacker and hiker who had just finished a 17 year soccer career (elementary through college) and was in amazing shape. Now, I am a flabby mess. I look and feel disgusting.

I have tried to change my diet - adding more fruits and vegetables and cutting down on fast food - and almost instantly lost the first 8 lbs. But for the last 2 months, I have been at a standstill. I walked 3 miles every day at a moderate pace and yet, nothing.

My goal is to fit into my summer clothes for THIS summer! I need to lose 2 sizes to get back into my shorts and its going to be hard.

How I began: two days ago, I picked up and went to the gym. I got on the treadmill, hoping to jog maybe half a mile and to my surprise, I was able to run a mile in 9:32! That got the juices flowing so I slowed to a jog and did two 13 minute miles at that pace. To finish it off, I pushed through another mile and this one was in 8:37! I couldn't believe it. I hadn't ran in over a year and I was able to go for 4 miles. Amazing. When I woke up yesterday, I could hardly move. My body ached so bad I could only jog a slow mile, like in 15 minutes...I was pretty much walking.

I took today off to make sure that I can try to make tomorrow worth it.

Hopefully, I can make this goal a reality. I hope that now that I have started this blog I will keep myself accountable.